Choose to love the one you’re with.

Do you want to know what can really get me on my soap box? When people say “Oh, we just fell out of love.” I’m sorry – okay, not that sorry – but that is total BS.

“We fell out of love.”

“They stopped taking me out.”

“They stopped telling me I’m beautiful.”

Okay, but what about taking personal responsibility for what YOU are doing or not doing anymore? When was the last time YOU suggested you go out for dinner? Or when was the last time you told THEM that THEY were beautiful/handsome/fine/*insert compliment of choice*? If you have been 100% open and honest with your feelings and what you are searching for and they still refuse to give this to you, sure. You might have a few issues that need to be worked out. However, I can guarantee you most of the time a simple change in your own lifestyle and communication can make a huge difference.

I’ve always dated with intent. For as long as I can remember I was running “boys” off with trying to be too “serious.” I would get upset when they cheated. I would get upset when they lied. They always left me feeling foolish because I was “too young to settle down.” However, I don’t see the point in wasting my time & wasting my youth on a relationship that I know isn’t going to result in a future. If you lie and cheat on me now, you’ll lie and cheat on me later in life & I’m just not about to let that happen.

The first night I hung out with my, now husband, we laid it all out there on the line. He said “this is what I’m looking for… this is what I want…. I’m looking for a wife… this is my past & this is my reputation.” As weird as this may sound, it was exactly what I wanted to hear. I had wasted too many years on things that would never last. I was looking for a future and this man was it.

Now I’m not going to say we are perfect. But I would say we are as close as you can get. I’m very proud of what we have. Sure, we have our differences. & Yes – there are things that sometimes get on my nerves. But you know the difference in our marriage and others out there? We’re too stubborn to give up. We are going to work through the challenges. We are going to communicate and continue to put each other’s happiness before our own. & you know what? THAT is going to last.

No one “falls out of love.” Love goes through cycles. You have to learn to grow together, not apart. You have to CHOOSE to love each other every day. Even when they haven’t taken you out in a while, even if their compliments have been lacking lately. Be intentional. Tell them what you want. Tell them what makes you happy. When they choose your happiness above their own, and you do the same, there is no reason why anyone should be unhappy.

Marriage is for life. Marriage is NOT “until I no longer feel like working for it.” If you are willing to break one of the most sacred vows there is in existence, what else are you willing to do?

Keep it classy,

K.

“30 Day” Challenge- Part one

OK, so first let me explain my intense adverse feelings for working out. I absolutely hate it and when I’m done my body reacts like I have been hit by a Mack truck. I desperately want to like working out and I really want to see results, they just never come in my timing ..aka after 3 nights. I think I would stick with my workout schedule if I could ever see results. I know it is completely a mental issue and I just need to come to grips with the process; then I may be able to stick with it long enough to make it a habit and/or see any actual results. All I ever get from working out is feeling like I’m going to puke and over the next couple of days it’s like my muscles hate me.

I always see the work out challenges on Pintrest and want to have the same results as the model in the photos, but I can never get passed the first 3 nights. I don’t need to loose weight, but I desperately need to tone my body. Not only does my complete adverse feelings for working out pressure me in to quitting, but also fitting it into my busy schedule. There isn’t enough time in a day for everything I already have to do, how can I add something else? Well, I have decided to give this another try and write about my journey. I promise I will keep my updates short and filled with complete honesty.

I’m not sure if anyone of you have watched the show “King of Queens,”my husband and I have the entire series and can relate most everyday experiences to this show. Doug, one of the main characters, is the overweight husband that has very little ambition and is completely satisfied with his life as it is. In this particular episode Doug is wanting to try being a “Big Brother” but everyone from his wife Carrie to his best friend Decon keep trying to get him to see that this is a commitment, not just another “hobby” he’ll be tired of in 5 minutes. Throughout the episode they keep reminding him being a Big Brother is not like the time he decided he wanted washboard abs and got an Ab Roller. Every time they would bring this up Doug would scream “I GOT THE FLU!” This has to be one of the funniest episodes. At the very end of the show you see Doug once again try to fulfill his commitment to get washboard abs. The scene starts with him standing in his room. He turns on his music, stretches, and then get the famous Ab Roller out of the closet. He puts it on the floor to start working out and all of a sudden develops a cough. Doug gets up feels his forehead then turns the music off and gets into bed. Doug wraps up in the covers and yells for his wife – “Carrie , I’m sick”. With that his second attempt is done.

I am hoping for a better outcome than Doug, however, we’ll have to see how it goes – fingers crossed!

Well here I go, I will start this challenge and keep you all updated throughout the 30, or so, days.





-J

Focused Eyes

How do you have it all? This is not a “Have it all” in terms of money, advancement at work, recognition, well-kept house, perfect marriage, well behaved kids, or an unlimited bank account. It’s a good job that allows me to pay the bills, but yet one that I enjoy doing, a husband that stands with me as a loving partner, kids that are wild and woolly, and most importantly the feeling of being blessed by my Heavenly Father every day. I don’t have it all by others’ standards, but I am blessed beyond measure. I have to also add that this doesn’t mean that everything is going perfect or exactly the way I would like it. It means that at the end of the day I am thankful for all that I have and the experiences I have lived through and learned from. My life looks crazy, but it’s fun! My boys seem to find a way to keep me going even when I think I’m too tired to get up, the large bang and screams from the other room ALWAYS gets me moving! Guys I urge you to be careful watching everyone else’s lives via social media, or whatever, and wonder where did it go wrong, when did the express train run right through your house, or where is the train. There is not enough “green grass” on the other side that would EVER make me want to jump ship or wish that I were on another. This ship is mine and it’s a wild ride, but one that I love more than anything! There is one major thing you must keep in mind when thinking about “green grass”, it still has to be watered, mowed, and weeded. Every good thing takes work, it takes commitment, and focused eyes. If you are constantly looking around then you are not focused on what is in your life, or what you have so how can you be thankful …….you haven’t seen it yet!

Since my oldest son was three years old he would always end his nighttime prayers with “I’m thankful for boogers and jellybeans”. Please don’t ask cause I have no clue where this came from, and no I do not serve boogers and jellybeans for dinner. But I think this says it all and to be honest it’s something that we all need to be reminded of. When looking at my sliding glass doors at home and see the sunscreen forehead smears on it and get frustrated because I have to clean it again or picking up the millionth Lego piece off the floor, my husband reminds me “it’s gonna be gone one day and you will miss this”. It’s also those nights you get woken up with a sick kid and rocking them back to sleep, rubbing their back until they calm down due to a bad dream, or cleaning up the cup of spilled milk. These would seem like boogers in the moment, but I now see these as jellybeans. I know these are very small examples of things to be thankful for, but it starts there, being thankful for the little things and not letting those moments pass us by.

Focus for today:

Recognize the blessing you have and find joy in them

-J