Top 10 Reasons (not) to Date a Married Man

1.) You enjoy being lonely.

Dating a married man means you get second best. You’re always going to be penciled in when it is most convenient for HIM. Looking forward to spending Friday night with your boo? Nah girl, he’s with his family. But he’ll get back to you on Tuesday.

2.) You like showing up for the holidays alone.

Man! Nothing like Grandma asking “So when are you going to bring a man home to meet us?” for the 5th year in a row. You’re thinking to yourself, sure! I’d love to. But guess what, again, he’s with his family. But I’m sure he’ll buy you a nice bracelet on December 27th to make up for it.

3.) You don’t like commitment.

You’d rather be lonely – dreaming of a life with him. He may always complain about his “real life.” He may always talk to you about a dream life committed to you some day. But how long has he been saying that? Right. Move on, chick. As shallow as he may be, he’s not going to leave #1. Shame on you for trying to break up a family.

4.) You’re interested in weak men.

Yes, why have a strong man with honest values when you can have a weak one that runs from his problems. 🙂 If he’s willing to cheat on her, he will cheat on you too. Clearly he cannot handle when things get tough at home and would rather run off to cheat. Some day if things get rocky with you, he’ll run away from you too.

5.) You like having the LEAST of both worlds.

While your married man is living it up, having his cake and eating it too, you’re hiding & alone. Nooo, you’ll never resent him for having it all while you have nothing.

6.) You’ve dreamed of being a home-wrecker.

Eventually you’re going to lose his respect. As shallow as he is, he’s going to start to resent you for settling with such a broken and flawed relationship. Can’t you do any better than that? & while he’s living it up at home with everything he needs, you’re left lonely known as the one who did or almost wrecked a home. This happens when you have no respect or care for children growing up without their daddy.

7.) You hate other women and want to see them fail.

Forget all this women equality and women empowerment we are all into these days. You’d rather see them BURN! You’re thinking, if I can’t have him – NO ONE CAN! You have no respect for other women. You want every woman to have trust issues and you want every man of their future to be punished for that.

8.) You enjoy watching time pass you by.

Ever notice how time goes much quicker the older you get? Did you notice his words tend to speak louder than his actions? But that’s what you’re into, right? The thought of him telling you how beautiful you are on February 15th rather than the 14th. Sure honey. He’ll leave his wife next month and you can fly away to Hawaii like you both have been talking about for… wow… it’s been 5 years already?

9.) You like to listen rather than share.

You’re out to dinner with your best gal pal and she cannot stop talking about her husband and their new child! You want so badly to share in the excitement and tell her the new shiny gift you got from your boo, but wait… you have to live in secret.

10.) You like to question yourself and your worth.

Nothing like spending another Saturday night alone. Man, you’d really like to be out on a date tonight but darn – he’s with the family again. You start to wonder “Why am I doing this?” “Who am I?” But at least you get a couple hours squeezed in next week, right?

Disclaimer: this is satirical in nature. Complete sarcasm. In no way shape or form am I telling you to date married men. However, this is not a joke. These are true & very real problems in which families are being destroyed.

Keep it crazy,

K.

Raising Children When is it Complete?

When you are raising your children you hope you are doing a good job, at least you are trying your best. There are times you think your making it and other times you know the “Mother Of The Year” award will never have your name on it. Being a mother has been one of the hardest things I have ever done and the most rewarding. It has been an emotional journey that’s not over by a long shot. I hate when I hear mothers/parents say “I can’t wait until they are 18” like your job as a mother/parent magically stops on that day. The role of a mother, and father, is one that is a life journey. In many ways we raise our children until we take our last breath. Now, the word ‘raise’ takes on a distinct meaning as we enter the different stages of life. Raising can be taking care of the very important essentials like: feeding, bathing, doctor visits, and providing all the necessities for survival. Raising for us also means teaching them about God and His love for them. This is done through going to church, reading the Bible, and teaching the boys about praying and having a relationship with God. Another way we raise our children is by helping them understand social norms, how to interact with others, how to balance relationships & priorities, how to treat others, and to learn the basic skills so they can be productive adults. All of these things are also modeled by you, the parent. You set the stage as the example, please understand how important this is. It’s putting action to all the words you have been saying.

Children are not a distraction from more important work, They are the most important work.”

C.S. Lewis

Because the time we get with our children to lay these essential foundations is so incredibly short, we have to be engaged. Engagement with them everyday is very important. I know many parents that spend way too much time on their own hobbies, interest, and social life that they are completely missing the little lives in front of them. Just in everyday conversations with my boys I can hear from their own words what has gone on throughout their day. You can see what is important to them, what upsets them, and hear about their passions. These conversations also come with jokes I rarely understand, but they would never know that. I love to talk with them and hear stories about their friends and what all they did that day. Now my boys love to talk, but only when they initiate the conversation or don’t have “more important” things to do. Even when they don’t want to talk I still make them because I want them to understand that what is going on in their lives is something I put as a priority. I want them to know that I will always be here to listen and truly care about even the smallest details in their lives.

Another way my husband and I keep our children as our priority is by putting our relationship as a top priority. If we do not put our relationship over our children then our children will not have the environment that they need to grow and thrive. By putting our relationship at the top of this hierarchy they find security and comfort. Parenting is not just raising our children, but keeping our family strong. The foundation of our family is built on God and the walls are our marriage.

When our children are older and out of the house the word raising will look a lot different, but we will still play a part. They won’t need us to take them to the doctor, feed them, or provide the necessities – at least we hope not. We will, however, encourage them, listen to them, and give advise when asked. We won’t try to control them, but rather give then the space they need to thrive as productive adults. You have already placed the foundation during the early years, so the hope is when you get to this point you can watch the bird fly from the nest in complete confidence that they will soar.

-J